last letter to a friend .

assalamualaikum . 

today , maybe its to late . 

aku xkesah . but if we end up not talking to each other anymore . 

i wanna tell u what i've been keeping from u all this time. 

i dont wanna write a hand written letter . 

so this is 

a letter to an old friend .

my dearest friend .

have u ever thought why we became like this .?

yes u said you're hurt . because of my action.

have u ever thought about how im hurt because of urs ?

as u know .

yes i have a crush on u before .

but what did u say ? u're not ready for a relationship right then but after all that ,

i knew . it wasnt really bcause of tht . u're still with ur ex girlfriend which u have broken up with .

cant u just said i dont like u then ?

im not blaming u . im trying to make u  see.

that the problem is from the start we bacame friends .

u gave me hope , yes. u rely on me . yes . 

i told u u treat me like before yes. and i dont blame u for that .

u call me at night and talk about "ci" . dont u think it will hurt me ?

when u know u dont really like me .

it hurt so bad when i know u lied . 

still that time . i dont blame u.

thats for our first sem . 

2nd sem

 u know her .

ko suruh aku g koko dulu , katenye lambat siap . 

i said its okay . aku leh tunggu . 

but then u persistently said . xpe g dulu . aku g ngn ****

and at that time . 

she was right infront of me.

i was like. huh ?

it hurt so bad .

then kite gaduh . 

bile kaw marah . aku always try sedapkan hati kaw.

have u wondered why.?

kaw selalu kate aku salah . have u ever feel u might be wrong as well ?

yes because i still have feelings for u . 

aku always try jage perasaan kaw pdhal org len sakit hati.

eventhough we're just friends.

have u ever thought . how it make me feel when my place was taken ?

u always priorities me . but then . its all about her.

im not blaming her

she's nice and kind .

u're lucky. 

i even help u guys to get together even when it hurts me the most .

i talk to her about ur feelings.

jadi org tgh bile korg gaduh.

cuz i kow im just ur friend .

now u guys are together .

im happy for u . 

and im happy with him.

thats it for sem 2.

aku xpernah unfriend kaw.

as i said , u were my bestfriend.

i just opened my eyes and see

kite xkan boleh jd kawan baik mcm dulu.

kaw kate . kaw nak kite jd mcm dulu . yg kite rapat gile sampai org igt kite kapel tu . 

eventhough u have a girlfriend . and i have someone i care about.

u know we cant be like before.

even if she dont say it . i know it will hurt her.

and i him . walaupon aku ngn dye kawan baik je skrg.

i still care for his feelings for me.

i am sorry if u're hurt by wht i say ,

but im far more hurt than u . 

have u ever wondered how many times i cried bcause of u ?

but i still dont blame u . its my fault sbb perasan.

xsdr diri siape nak suke kaw dulu. but i let go . aku xpernah dendam ke ape ..

tp bile tau kaw bgtau diorg psl aku pnh suke kaw. aku jd mrh la . 

but then bnde lame . xpe ahh.

sorry for everything and thanks for everything.

last note for u.

1)kaw xboleh dah nak rely on aku . kaw dah ade die .

2)and kaw kena jage baran kaw tu . it will hurt her.

3)kalau gaduh . jgn gne org tgh. u guys have u solve it urself.

4)jage solat . 

5)dalam kelas jgn asek tido . belajar.

6) ur parents have hope on u . try harder to study . jgn asek game je.

7) kurangkan mencarut tu .

8) aku salahkan kaw utk ape yg jd . and harap kaw xsalahkan aku

9) xsalah rsenye kite kawan mcm aku ngn azmin ke ssape.

10) jage hati jage iman . ade masalah cari Allah .

lastly . xperlu kot bgtau mereka2 ape yg aku tulis ni or tunjuk bnde ni . ini tatapan kaw je .

till then .

t . r . a
 p/s :  do read .http://aimanaqilahazmi.blogspot.com/2013/01/future-mrs-crush.html